Faking Orgasms: Why We Do It and How to Stop

February 20, 2019

  minute READ

Faking orgasms is a phenomenon that remains extremely current and common – it has, after all, become a part of our popular culture (looking at you Meg Ryan!).

Many of us have had personal experiences with faking orgasm – either as fakers or as their sexual partners (and often both). That is why it is important that we stop and consider how faking orgasms on a regular basis may be affecting us and our sex lives in the long run, what the reasons behind this mechanism are and how we can break the cycle.

Tune in for another information-packed episode of the Get Sex Smart podcast!

In Episode 59 Dr. Valeria and I discuss:

  • the data on who fakes orgasms and why (surprise: it’s not just heterosexual women)
  • why faking orgasms doesn’t pay off in the long run and may actually backfire
  • what it means when your partner fakes orgasms
  • why we take our partners’ expression of pleasure personally
  • how different genders experience different types of pressure around orgasm
  • how an acheivement focus is connected to performance anxiety
  • the difference between having sex at someone and with someone
  • the importance of discovering why you want to have sex in the first place
  • how to stop (or phase out) faking orgasms
  • why under certain circumstances faking orgasms may become beneficial and be encouraged by sex coaches
  • what to do if you discover that your partner has been faking
About the Author

Sarah Martin, MA, CSC is CEO of Dignified Hedonist, a sexuality support company that guides introverted men to lead desire-led, sex-forward, and pleasure-focused lives. Sarah is the host of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast, a weekly podcast packed full of actionable information and advice for sex and relationships in the 21st century. Sarah loves rainbows, books, and Pokemon Go.

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