How to Get Better at Spotting She’s Into You

September 24, 2018

minute reAD

No Fool-Proof Method

Wouldn’t it be fucking awesome if you never had to risk rejection?

It would be amazing to have a fool-proof way to know if someone is into you, where you could just know and then proceed to naked fun times with minimal fuss.

Unfortunately, with the exception of someone coming up to you and directly declaring their lust (and totally risking rejection in the process), there really is no fool-proof way to know on sight.

With that said, there are some general indicators that you can look for to see if someone is interested in you as a person:

What to Look For

To get better at spotting when someone is interested in you, watch for four non-verbal messages:

  1. Open posture
  2. Eye contact
  3. Active listening (i.e. nodding head, focus)
  4. Physical proximity – speak volumes.

These body language basics speak volumes. Learning non-verbal communication skill is incredibly useful, in life generally and in sex and relationships specifically.

How to Improve

To get better with body language, a great place to start is by observing others and becoming aware of your own body language.

Spend some time in front of a mirror practicing these four messages. What does it look like? How does it feel in your body when you take these actions?

Spend some time people watching. Find somewhere comfortable and observe the people around you. Can you notice interactions where these messages are being sent? What does it look like? How do you feel when you observe others taking these actions?

Solo practice helps to develop comfort and confidence with non-verbal communication. Non-verbal communication skills always help when you’re in a situation with someone you’re attracted to.

About the Author

Sarah Martin, MA, CSC is CEO of Dignified Hedonist, a sexuality support company that guides introverted men to lead desire-led, sex-forward, and pleasure-focused lives. Sarah is the host of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast, a weekly podcast packed full of actionable information and advice for sex and relationships in the 21st century. Sarah loves rainbows, books, and Pokemon Go.

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