How to Be a Good Lover to a Virgin

September 25, 2019

  minute READ

Given the myths surrounding virginity in society, it’s not surprising that, for many adult virgins (meaning people who are in their late 20s or older), losing their virginity ASAP is a BIG deal. The same can go for their sexual partners, who might feel pressure to make sure that this first experience is perfect and memorable. This is all despite the fact that studies show up to 10% of all adults are virgins.

So if you or your partner (or both!) are a virgin, remember you are not alone! In episode 74 of the Get Sex Smart podcast, I joined Dr. Valeria to share everything there is to know about adult virgins, losing one’s virginity later in life and what you can do to make the experience wonderful for both of you.

In Episode 74 you will learn:

  • the reason many adult virgins see themselves and their virginity as undesirable
  • why adult virgins often want a more experienced partner
  • why it is useful to question what we mean by virginity and what “counts” as losing one’s virginity in our society
  • how to create a safe environment for a partner who is a virgin
  • the dangers of tunnel vision and focusing solely on losing one’s virginity and what you can focus on instead
  • what it means to “de-escalate yourself” and how you can do it
  • what you can get out of having sex with a virgin even as an experienced lover
  • the tools that will help you reduce pressure and facilitate communication with someone inexperienced
  • what you should and shouldn’t expect from your first time

About the Author

Sarah Martin, MA, CSC is CEO of Dignified Hedonist, a sexuality support company that guides introverted men to lead desire-led, sex-forward, and pleasure-focused lives. Sarah is the host of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast, a weekly podcast packed full of actionable information and advice for sex and relationships in the 21st century. Sarah loves rainbows, books, and Pokemon Go.

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